Ode to Autumn

Good day, my lovely readers! I dislike having long breaks in between my blog posts, but I also feel as though forcing myself to churn out content would be detrimental to its quality. Still, I'm going to work harder to be a little more disciplined about my writing. It's something I truly enjoy doing, and I think it deserves to have some more of my time devoted to it. Anyway... I'm back with some more musings.

In the month or so since my last post, the seasons have been changing. September is my favourite month, not only because it's when my birthday falls, but because it's when the first little whispers of autumn fill the air. My house is surrounded by trees and greenery, and it is all beginning to change colour, with the first magical golden leaves appearing. I don't quite know why I feel so drawn to this season. Maybe it's because it's always so short and sweet, full of colour and vibrancy. Fail to take notice and you might miss it entirely. Perhaps it's that bittersweet feeling I feel every time it ends that makes it all the more special to me. When you know you only have a limited time to enjoy something, it motivates you to go out of your way to make every second count, and stops you from ever taking it for granted.

 The view from one of the windows in my house on an autumn day.

It is this time of year I seem to spend the most time outdoors, going on walks and bike rides, and taking pictures of as many crimson leaves as I can find. I love this in-between temperature, where it's too warm to wear a coat, but too mild to leave the house without throwing on a cardigan before you leave the house. 

As you may have guessed by this point, I am autumn obsessed. Therefore, it is only sensible I share with you some ideas for making the most of this season, so you can join in with my fall fanaticism.

• If you have rich, or earthy colours in your wardrobe, now is the perfect time to wear them! If you are into mori fashion, this season is surely where you will feel most in your element.
• If you're into tea, why not try out some new flavours? I've recently discovered there is such thing as gingerbread tea and I fully intend to get in on the action.
• Organise a lolita woodland ramble! If you live somewhere with a lot of wooded areas, it could be a nice change of pace to go on an autumnal outing with your friends. You could collect pine cones, and horse chestnuts for decorative purposes if you're into that kind of thing. I know I am.
• Take lots of pictures. Could this season be any more beautiful for vibrant, atmospheric photoshoots!? That contrast between the fiery leaves on the trees, and the perfectly clear blue sky always makes for some breathtaking images.
• Get started on your themed lolita coordinate for Halloween! I love to see broken dolls, tasteful guro, witchy outfits, and vampirey gothic looks. It's one day of the year you can be truly outrageous and imaginative with your coordinate as you won't look out of place to people outside of the fashion!
• Do some baking. Make spookily-decorated Halloween biscuits or share out fairy cakes at your next meetup. Have a go at deliciously warm apple pies or crumbles, and rich pumpkin desserts.
• Are you a scrapbook lover? Why not try adding pressed autumn leaves to your pages, and creating fun earthy mood boards.
• Go antique shopping! There's something so cosy and nostalgic about visiting secondhand shops. Perhaps you will find some new items to match the decor of your living space, or even a loliable item of clothing, depending on what kind of shop it is.

A picture I took at a shop called the Courtyard At No. 6 in Buckingham, England.

• Put together a Halloween meetup! You could visit a themed café, go on a local ghost walk, carve pumpkins (though make sure you have a cute apron on hand!) or host a movie night with your closest friends in your community! I personally like to do tarot reading on this day!
• Visit a local craft fair or event. These are fun places to browse and perhaps take home a special, unique item for yourself or someone you love.
• Channel some autumnal vibes into your creative outlet of choice. Make a vivid, nature inspired painting, write story set during this season, record a song inspired by your feelings during this season, or do a themed photoshoot. The possibilities for self expression are endless.
• Have a calm, quiet day to yourself to simply breathe in the fresh, earthy air and savour the gentle sunshine on your face. 

Many of these tips are based on the things I did last year and really enjoyed. I loved my university town. It was small, quaint, and filled with unusual independent shops, pop up markets, old listed buildings, and picturesque scenery. I can't help missing some of the places I used to haunt at this time of year, such as Secret Messages (click here to wander around the shop's three levels!) and the footpaths that weaved all around-- alongside the river, through woodland, and onto an abandoned railway bridge from which you had a clear view of the entire town. Oh, sweet nostalgia! Last autumn was a truly gorgeous time in my life, and I'm glad I captured so much of it through lovingly taken photographs. I can only hope I will be able to add some whimsy to life here in my hometown, where one has to do a bit more digging to find its beauty and quirks. I like the challenge, though, and hope to follow the suggestions from the above list I haven't tried here yet!

I overuse this photo, but it's probably my favourite non lolita picture of me, taken on Halloween 2014. It's so expressive of my love for this season (and for 90s style lunchboxes). I could have looked at those leaves all day long.

Do you like autumn? Have any special passtimes you enjoy doing at this time of year? I'd love to hear all about it! See you next time ❤

I Want To Live Beautifully.

Post holiday blues aren't really something I tend to suffer from, but after my Paris trip I couldn't help feeling a bit differently about life. Not in a bad way as such, but my brain has been whirring and pondering ever since. Sitting outside a cute Japanese bakery in the heart of Paris wearing a food themed lolita dress, and savouring a rich blueberry cheesecake was truly a moment of pure bliss for me, and I realised that I don't have those moments nearly often enough.

In my early lolita days, reading lolita lifestyle blogs was perhaps my favourite pass time. I completely immersed myself in these romantic writings, soaking up each tip to guarantee me a life of beauty and elegance that I could also represent through my mode of dress... or so I thought. 

Lately, I've been going through a bad emotional slump. So many aspects of my life aren't where I want them to be, and constant disappointments have rendered me feeling a lot less positive about 2015 as we work our way through the second half of the year.

I let my passions and interests begin to fall by the wayside as I tried to tackle a whole host of new responsibilities and challenges. In life, there's always going to be dark times and stress and unpleasantries... but it's even harder to deal with them when you're not making a special effort to ensure your free time balances out the negativity and enriches your soul. One thing that's been encouraging me to revisit these romantic notions is the small but certain online stirrings of a lifestyle lolita revival. I want to now, more than ever, celebrate femininity and softness and the picturesque-- qualities I always appreciated but felt I couldn't truly express until I got into lolita, which transformed my way of seeing the world. I want to live beautifully, as often as I can.

I'm one of those overly nostalgic people who likes to take the things I enjoy and hold onto them, even if the world around me continues to change. I feel a little uncomfortable with this decade, due to the fact it seems to be killing off the very notion of subculture, and watering it down so that it becomes nothing more than a tumblr reblog away from being the subject of yet another mainstream clickbait article. With the increasing popularity of the lolita, I suppose it's no wonder some of us are developing a "get off my lawn" mentality as we see the aspects of the subculture that meant the most to us being replaced with a superficial, OTT costuming mindset. I think we miss that old livejournal, longform blogging atmosphere, which actively encouraged us to to not only wear lolita, but to be lolita-- to wear the fashion because it allowed us to express ourselves and extend or carve out our own complementary way of life, as members of other subcultures like goth or steampunk might do. 

A few weeks ago, I spent the day with my friends, having afternoon tea on board a floating tea room. This day could not have come at a better time for me, as I was desperate for a nice day out where I might be able to forget the greyness day to day life can bring, and enjoy the company of like-minded people. I don't think my friends have anywhere near the same sort of lifestyler view of lolita as I do, but us all joining egl around the same era means we have a lot in common, and enjoying meeting up for a peaceful meal in lolita is no exception.

The weather was truly glorious that day, and beyond the little windows of the barge, we could see the waves of the River Thames rippling as the boat swayed so gently it was impossible for us to feel it ourselves.

We were able to adapt the afternoon tea to suit our own tastes, which meant we got to maintain the elegant set up, but with the food and drink we personally liked best. Being a hot day, I opted not for a traditional cup of loose leaf tea, but instead sampled their elderflower cordial. It was light and refreshing, perfect for the summer heat. I deviated yet again, this time from the traditional sandwiches, and opted for a bacon one instead. This ended up being so filling I was sadly only able to devour half of my fruit scone and jam. I had a lovely time, and can't wait to try out other places which serve afternoon tea.

One of my rarely mentioned passions in life is interior design. I could (and do) watch property programmes, tours of people's homes, and DIY homeware tutorials on YouTube for hours. I currently only have a small bedroom to deck out as I please, but I still have a couple of pieces which convey the theme I'm hoping to have running through my future home.

It's an easy one to forget, but light fittings can create such an elegant focal point in a room. I did not realise this until I was gifted this one, which makes me think of an opulent bird cage. 

This difficult-to-photograph framed painting is so special to me. It used to hang in the family living room, and naturally it reminds me of my childhood. I always loved fairy imagery, so the scene depicted here enchanted me, especially due to the the glittery, shimmery, highly textured paper. I've never seen anything quite like it before, and I have no idea who the artist is or where it came from. I wouldn't be at all surprised if it turned out to be a portal to a magical realm.

A bed takes up a significant surface area in a room, so dressing it up in a nice throw can really help to create a wonderful aesthetic. A lot of lolitas seem to own this Primark patchwork print throw that I'm using at the moment, and I'm not surprised as its so soft and cottagey. Its delicate florals are not overwhelmingly cutesy, which suits me well.

A decor blog I find particularly inspiring is Fairy Nests, which is filled with images of homes which have a balance of cuteness, elegance, and historical influence that really appeals to me. There is something so inherently lolita to me about these overtly feminine homes, and I think that by simply changing up the colours and accessories, you could easily come up with the perfect aesthetic for sweet, classic, or gothic lolita dwellings.

I find that even the mundane can evoke positive feelings. Today, I had to go to the post office to send out an order from my online shop. When I woke up in the morning, it was rainy and dreary outside, and didn't exactly make me feel excited about my excursion. But rather than let pessimism take over, I showered and dressed in a simple old school inspired coordinate. By the time I was ready to leave, the rain had stopped and the sun had come out. Newly energised, I decided to take some pictures.

I'm not sure what this pose is all about, but either way, it was a lot more fun organising my own awkward photoshoot on the landing in front of my bedroom door, rather than taking a rushed, blurry mirror picture like I usually do. 

Simply putting on even a basic lolita coordinate for a brief venture outdoors never fails to brighten my mood. It's fun, it's freeing, it's ever so slightly rebellious, and it makes me appreciate how lucky I am to live in a town where I can express myself in this way without fear.

Honestly, I cannot imagine only wearing lolita a few times a year for special events. But I am glad that I can take comfort in knowing that if it had to come to that, I could still find fun little lolita-esque treats to indulge in, which for me include things like burning delicately scented candles, listening to my favourite music, reading new lolita blog posts, or keeping up with threads where I continue to be inspired by others trying to evoke the noughties egl lifetstyler sensibilities again.

A lolita lifestyle can be anything a lolita wants it to be. The aim for mine is to make my life as beautiful as it can be. As our exceedingly bizarre friend Novala Takemoto would say:

Sew frills onto the hem of your heart! 

Put a tiara on top of your soul! 
Have pride.

❤

The Trials and Tribulations of a Budding Lolita Seamstress

Last month was quite intense for me. I spent weeks sewing and crafting constantly in preparation for debuting my collection of lolita items for a local handmade independent boutique.

During this time I learnt an awful lot, particularly about working to my own set schedule, and simply motivating myself. It's hard to do things when you have no motivation, but that in itself isn't something you can wait for. Even when you can't be bothered to do something, but you know you need to do it, you have to get up and go for it. At least, that's the mindset that worked for me-- not dwelling on it too much and not psyching myself out, but taking my sewing machine out, preparing my fabrics and threads, and getting on with it.

I did have these little Momoko-esque moments at times, feeling the occasional panic about whether or not making lolita items dulls the magic of lolita because during my production process, I finally stumbled upon an item I found truly tedious: aprons.

I love aprons in lolita. It's not so much something I like in coordinates especially, but I suppose the idea of it, and the practical nature of it has always really drawn me in. After buying a small Bodyline maid cosplay apron from a friend, I felt inspired to make a larger, more lolita friendly one. I liked the end result, and figured I'd make some more. I must be honest and admit I hated every second of it. I've never known something so seemingly straightforward could end up being so unbelievably dull. That in itself scared me. I normally find sewing a calming, therapeutic process, but when your topstitching goes wrong for the billionth time, and your waist-ties refuse to cooperate, you can't help but have a bit of a mental crisis. I suppose I berated myself for finding something so challenging, which is obviously not what we should do to ourselves. 

The life of the lolita seamstress isn't as cutesy and picturesque as I might have hoped. I normally sew in t-shirts and comfy house trousers, fringe brushed back, ready for action. I spend time awkwardly trying to promote my shop and facebook page, while being hyper-aware people don't like being advertised to. I spend a lot of time fretting about sales, page views, my fabric stash, my severe lack of space, my serious need for a dressform etc. 

I suppose it can impact on your enjoyment of the fashion. I planned on making the jumperskirt of my coordinate for an event in September, but it's been at the bottom of my priority list, with only the pattern drawn, and the design sketched out. I've neglected to go and choose my fabric, lace, ribbon, or even to do a mockup. 

Still, I know it's important to make sure that lolita itself doesn't become a chore for me. If I weren't so passionate about all this, there's no way I would still be doing it. I don't think people realise just how taxing starting a brand is. Mine is still in its infancy and yet it does consume a huge portion of my time and my life, and I'm not even making and selling the big items like dresses yet, or being inundated with orders for that matter. I feel a bit anxious at the task looming of making my dress. I have the fear that my plan won't match the final result. It's a big deal because I will be a walking advertisement of my skills, and to get feedback from others see whether I can dresses that people would genuinely want to buy. I want to enjoy the process though, and focus on the end result of another pretty dress to add to my wardrobe I get the added bonus of being proud of because I made it.

I don't want to fall into the trap of something I love becoming something I despise because I turned it into work rather than leaving it as a personal hobby. For now at least, I'm OK with giving all of this a shot. It does bring me joy to know there's now a space where one can go in store to purchase lolita items (even if only a small and sweet selection) in my local area. I know realistically my business will probably never provide me with enough income to be my main career, and that ultimately, that might be for the best, in terms of retaining my enjoyment of lolita and sewing itself. I'm fine with that.

Nevertheless, to be directly contributing to the lolita community at large by being a creative force is an important thing to me, and I think that so long as this fashion continues to add beauty to my life, then this is what I want to do.

❤

24/7 Lolita: Reality or Fantasy?

Sometime recently, someone began a thread on a facebook lolita discussion group about whether or not there was anyone who wore lolita fashion round the clock. Some people claimed they did, but mainly, people were very disbelieving that it was something anyone could do, or would want to do. 

Ribbon Rose Room Wear by Victorian Maiden. How lovely is this!?

I wouldn't be opposed to the idea myself. On my down days, I often feel as though lounging around the house in bland, sagging clothes can make me feel even more miserable than I would if I had something bright and cute to cheer myself up with. For such occasions, it is possible to find really adorable items (usually labelled as "roomwear" online) which are both comfortable and stylish. Perhaps that's something I should look into.

However, self proclaimed lifestyle lolita or not, there are always going to be occasions where you can't wear lolita. When I do land a job (which will most likely be office based), I will have to wear clothing which is "professional". Some people are lucky enough to work in environments where they can wear elegant classic pieces, or incorporate lolita items into their work outfits to create a look that is professional, and yet unmistakeably lolita-influenced. Some people even wear full lolita to their work place! I may not be that lucky, but it's fine-- more money, more brand at the end of the day! You work to earn a living, not to look cute (though if you can do both, you really are living the dream!) I expect 24/7 lolita would be easier for those who are unemployed, students, housewives or in a workplace with aforementioned lax uniform policies.

If we ignore the trouble that workplaces can cause in terms of disrupting this 24/7 lolita vision, then let's think about this in terms of only wearing lolita in one's free time.

Rabbit Apron by Baby, The Stars Shine Bright

In a separate thread, someone else claimed they did absolutely every one of their pass times in lolita, including cycling! I've sometimes thought about making or buying a cute apron I could wear over my lolita clothing for eating anything particularly messy, or when cooking. But somehow, there are still times when I don't even feel like putting on a dress. Do I really need to wear something that may get caught in the food, catch on something, get super messy, make me sweat more than something else etc for the sake of calling myself a 24/7 lolita? At those times, it wouldn't be worth it for me, and I would instead make workarounds. Something about spending the day, for example, in a cute cutsew and bloomers is appealing to me! In this way I would still be wearing something related to lolita, without it being impractical and uncomfortable.

3 Piece Night Set (2003) by Baby, The Stars Shine Bright. 

I must make myself something like this!

So, do I think 24/7 lolita is possible? Definitely. Is it something I can claim to take part in right now? Definitely not! Still, I figured it would be fun to come up with some ideas for a 24/7 lolita lifestyle, aimed at those who want to wear lolita or lolita inspired clothing in casual environments such as at home.

• Get yourself some cute, comfortable roomwear! This is great for when you won't be leaving the house, and still want to feel dolled up!
• Pretty nightgowns will make bedtime feel more whimsical! Sweeter lolitas may favour pastel colours and kawaii prints, whereas classic and gothic lolitas may feel more inspired by Victorian inspired gowns.
• Have some cheaper items set aside for messier, less elegant days! Now is the time to lounge around in bargain brand items and old Bodyline pieces.
• Bloomers make great pyjama shorts, and are perfect for days at home! You could get a longer pair for going outside and gardening if that's something you're into.
• Think about dress cuts. Skirts sitting on your waist all day may not allow you to feel relaxed, so opt for jumperskirts with high waisted cuts so there's no pressure on your stomach.
• Wear cute, lace topped or patterned ankle socks as opposed to plain ones!
• Have a pair of slippers which suit your lolita style and will complete your "home" coordinate!

How do you feel about the idea of 24/7 lolitas? I'd love to hear what you think about it! Thanks for reading and I'll see you next time! ❤ 

Lolita Level Up Revisited!

Recently while browsing my blog list I saw that Miuko over at Puppenschloss had completed the Lolita Level Up meme! I remember when everyone used to post about this, and I actually managed to find it saved on my hard drive, dated 21st June 2010! I had only just started to wear the fashion then (or whatever I seemed to think the fashion was haha!) and my level was "Resplendent Rufflebutt"! Let's see how far I've come since then! All the things that apply to me are in bold.

LOLITA LEVEL START!

You've been to egl.

You've posted on egl, without an onslaught of 'USE THE MEMORIES' and likewise.
You've bought a lolita mook.
You've picked a favorite brand.
You've ordered your first item.
You've worn a full outfit.
You've worn a full outfit out in public.
You've worn a full outfit and posted photos of it on the Internet.
You know what JSK, OP, and cutsew all mean.
You've bought your first brand piece.
You know your measurements.
You know your shoe size - in American, European, and Japanese.
You know who Mr. Yan is.
You know who Mana is. (+1 points if you know his band. +2 points if you know his brand. +3 points if you know why he's featured in every GLB. +4 if you have a shrine to him in your closet.)
You know who Maki and Asuka are. (+2 if you've met Maki and Asuka)
You've watched Kamikaze Girls. (+1 if you know the real name of this movie. +2 if you know who wrote the book this was based on. +3 if you've also read the manga or novel. +4 if you love the author despite his criminal record).
You own a wig. (+1 if you own more than 2.)
You own a pair of falls. 
You can identify lace on the spot.
You can identify an item's brand on the spot.
You can identify the year a dress was made by a specific brand on the spot.
You can name several different dresses or prints.
You answer stock photo requests.
You mod a lolita community.
You decorate your nails. (+1 if you wear fake nails. +2 if you make fake nails.)
You own a pair of a rocking horse shoes. (+1 if you know their abbreviation.)
You've made your own rose corsage.
You've made anything out of your brand dress's waist ties.
You've made anything out of a matching eco tote. (+3 if you were the first one to do it, you think).
You know how to apply false eyelashes.
You know how to pronounce shirring.
You know how to pronounce Moi-meme-moitie, or Metamorphose tempes de fille.
You know a reliable shopping service.
You bid on Yahoo!Japan or Mbok.
You've been to a meetup.
You've planned a meetup.
You've planned a meetup with catering or more than 20 attendees.
You've met up with lolitas while on vacation to foreign or faraway locales.
You've seen a lolita fashion show.
You've seen a brand fashion show.
You've modelled in a lolita fashion show.
You've modelled in a brand lolita fashion show.
You wear bloomers.
You know how to make bloomers.
You tell other people to wear bloomers.
You draw lolita art, write a lolita blog, or provide the community with some sort of creative services.
You've taken purikura in lolita.
You've decorated your room/house/apartment in lolita style.
You've listened to lolita music.
You've learned kana.
You've learned enough Japanese to read a magazine.
You wear or own circle lenses.
You've been called a princess by a young child.
You've dressed up a friend.
You've convert a friend.
You've been in media (television, newspaper, magazine). (+2 points if it's Japanese media.)
You've learned a handicraft, like jewellery making, embroidery, or sewing.
You've become a lolita mentor.
You've attended lolita events at an anime or multi-genre convention.
You’ve organized or presented lolita events at a convention.
You've visited a brand shop.
You've taken a trip to Japan!
You've dressed up and gone out alone.
You're prepared for inclement or colder weather in lolita (coat, parasol, boots, gloves, other climate-specific items.)
You've learned face contouring.
You've made a lolita valentine.
You've got a lolita pen pal or online lolita friends.
You have local lolita friends.
You know how to modify clothes that don't fit you.
You know how to dress for your body type.
You've been in a street snap.
You've been to multiple world locations of the same brand store (BABY Paris, BABY Tokyo, BABY San Francisco, etc.)
You've created a makeup/hair/sewing tutorial.
You've sold hand-created lolita goods.
You have your own lolita fashion line.
You've gotten a lolita haircut, style, or color.
You've mixed other street fashions with lolita.
You've thrown a lolita party/had a lolita wedding.
You've dressed your child/small children in lolita or kodona style.
You've successfully cross-dressed in lolita style at least once (boystyle for girls and girls' clothing for guys).
You've lolified or made sure all the contents of your purse are cute (wallet, lipgloss, keyring, etc.)
You have a lolita pet (small dogs, cats, rabbits, exotic birds, fancy fish) or have dressed/accessorized your pet (bows or pet clothes).
You've dressed your significant other or dated someone who dresses in J-fashion/alternative fashion.
You've read Alice in Wonderland. (+1 if you've seen the animated movie or other variations, +2 if you've seen more than one variation, +3 if you own more than one variation)
You've dressed as Alice or another Wonderland character in lolita style, or own Alice themed items.
You've made something from a Japanese pattern.
You've found, bought, or made lolita underwear (bras and panties).
You wear lolita daily, or have gone 7 days straight wearing only lolita.
You have lolita calling cards or business cards.
You play a lolita instrument (i.e., piano, violin, harp, French horn... well any instrument really.)
You can translate yen to your country's currency in your head. (+1 if you can convert other currencies you shop with as well. +2 if you read the news to know how the yen is doing.)
You've sold lolita clothing online (secondhand, egl_comm_sales).
Your article or entry has been put into the egl memories.
You take photos of your outfits/daily outfit photos.
You’ve posted to daily_lolita.
You own a petticoat. (+1 if you own more than one. +2 if you wear three or more at a time).
You’ve bought a lucky pack.
You keep a style diary or look-book.
You can put together an outfit made entirely from offbrand.
You’ve bought offbrand or non-Japanese brand.

RESULTS

Adorable Admirer (lvls 1 - 20) You've started studying or liking lolita but haven't taken that leap of faith yet. Good luck!
Resplendant Rufflebutt (lvls 21 - 40) At home within the land of the rufflebutts and spilling frills from every edge.
Victorian Maiden (lvls 41 - 60) A classy lolita of taste and experience, who knows her way around the lolita social set.
Starry Celebrity (lvls 61 - 80) On page six of the lolita world, you've risen to the ring of the upper crust.
Pretty Princess (lvls 81 - 100) Lolita royalty, truly versed in the ways of the lacey ones, the lolita princesses have achieved a special level of enlightenment.
Ultimate Lolita (Boss Fight!) (lvls 100+) Wow, you've gotten over 100 levels? You're the ultimate lolita with unlimited hitpoints. That's actually a little scary...

Well, if I've counted correctly, I have 82 points, making me a "Pretty Princess"! My aim now is to become the "Ultimate Lolita" and finally be able to say I made it to the boss fight!

I hope you enjoyed this silly little post! Does anyone else remember taking this quiz? I'd love to know your results if you decide to do it as well! Thanks for looking, and see you next time ❤

My Thoughts on Novala Takemoto

To follow on from the musings of my previous post, I thought I would continue to do a bit more analysis as to why the idea of a lolita lifestyle has become something to edge away from. It's sad that I cannot claim to be a lifestyler without it sounding rather tongue in cheek, attention-seeking, and a bit strange. But given the image created by other self-confessed lifestylers over the years, I am really not surprised!

* * *

As I thought more and more about the topic, I found myself coming to the conclusion that one of the reasons why we have grown to avoid the lifestyle label is because of Novala Takemoto.

Now, there are some things I like about him. I appreciate his intent in dispelling the stereotype that a straight man cannot have a feminine side, or be understanding of femininity. He does, in fact, embrace it entirely, and there are many photos of him from Gothic & Lolita Bibles depicting him in cutesy outfits. 

However, a lot of his thoughts come across as being unrealistic, and downright disturbing.

Consider, for example, his piece entitled "I Don't Need Things Like Friends". I do not see this as a mindset shared by many, and for good reason. This essay centres around some sort of maiden complex, and is thus not built upon reality, but a romantic fantasy. Given that this essay is supposedly aimed at the young, lonely girls who would write to Takemoto regularly, I can't help but find it disconcerting. It is disappointing to see that this early figurehead for lolita fashion took a harmless, and relevant idea of there being a lifestyle which naturally accompanies the life of a lolita, and bastardised it into his own bizarre, potentially damaging construction.

The other week, I decided to purchase a copy of the Kamikaze Girls novel which I had never read, and I enjoyed it a lot more than I thought I would. It is certainly more satisfying than the film, which I always found to be completely lacking in plot and purpose, despite how visually enticing it is.

Ichigo makes a speech towards the end, explaining to her biker gang the reason why she admired Momoko's friendless existence. She raises the point that people are intent on labelling their relationships with people to create a sense of security for themselves, for fear of being alone. After considering some of these opinions, I find them to be true in certain ways. I think many of us have been caught up in exhausting cliques at some point in our lives, where we were constantly being made to prove our loyalties. Momoko does not face this situation, as Ichigo does, because she is comfortable enough with herself to not need to prove herself to anyone, or sacrifice her own happiness for the sake of belonging to a larger unit. 

Despite this, I do not believe that promoting the idea that the ideal lolita lifestyle should be built upon loneliness, with only a "tv and potted plants" for friends, is a healthy one. To me, it's incredibly bleak, and it skips out what I consider to be one of the most enjoyable parts of being a lolita, and that is the social life you can build from it. I think it's important to impress upon not only young lolitas, but young people in general, that it's simply not worth erasing your personality or making yourself uncomfortable for the sake of being popular. Perhaps a better essay would have been "I don't need to be popular to lead a fulfilling life". I believe that would have made for a more wholesome, realistic read.

I think a danger lies in trying to depict members of the lolita subculture as being inherently different from members of society who stick to more mainstream things. Some people like to be seen as different, and have that "special snowflake" mentality about lolita fashion (which I find pretty ironic seeing as lolita has such a strong set of aesthetic rules from which we try not to deviate. Sorry, but this is not a "unique" person's fashion!), but most of us don't. Takemoto's writings paint lolita at large to be a movement centred around socially inept, cold individuals who pretend to be maidens, and that's really not the case. Is lolita not simply a passion in the same way sports, films, books, or model planes are for others? Why should any of these hobbies result in eccentric personalities?

I'm surprised that with the conclusion of Kamikaze Girls, in which Momoko finally appreciates all that friendship can bring, we don't see Takemoto stressing the importance of community, and how fulfilling it can be to have a special someone in our lives, even if we are not romantically involved with them. Instead, a common theme in his often eerie work (which you can find English translations of online with a bit of googling) seems to be fear of betrayal, with distancing yourself from others presented as a sensible long term solution.

I'm glad Takemoto was able to help with the process of spreading lolita fashion beyond Japan with Kamikaze Girls. But I do believe many of his writings to be questionable, forcing upon others an ideal that very few people within the lolita subculture would ever wholeheartedly share. Plus, I suppose I always find myself becoming wary of anyone who comments on something they have no experience in, or are not really a part of. 

Of course, he is clearly learned in the look of lolita, given the descriptions he was able to put together of Momoko's outfits throughout Kamikaze Girls. He has even done collaboration pieces with Baby, The Stars Shine Bright in the past. But from reading his work (and seeing his own bizarre outfits to be honest), I have gotten the impression he fell in love with this look, and in doing so, conjured up his own interpretation, his own "daydream carnival" of the mindset every lolita should have to go along with their clothes. I guess it's similar to the way in which some people are able to fall in love with the idea of love-- they love their own perceived, inaccurate musings which are based upon imagination, rather than true life experience.

It would be unfair of me to blame Takemoto completely for the current mentality towards wearing lolita clothing. Besides, I find myself really not wanting to. Somehow, I can't help but have an odd sense of admiration for someone so completely comfortable sharing these personal aspects of themselves (he claims Momoko is his alter ego) despite knowing they will be considered incredibly unusual. 

As discussed before, the current lolita climate has been affected by how accessible the fashion has become, people no longer getting into it via the lolita (and so, egl on livejournal) route, plus a general distaste for the idea that clothes can somehow affect your life on a deeper level. But perhaps it is also the extreme views such as those expressed by Takemoto, plus the hardcore, seemingly contrived quaintrelle image, which allowed the "lifestyle lolita" moniker to become an embarrassing joke which none of us wants to be the butt of.

❤

The Forgotten Lolita Lifestyle

When I first got into lolita, things were very different. For one thing, lolita was generally considered to be more than just a fashion style, but a lifestyle, too. There was even a blog (hands up if you remember The Princess Portal!) which was devoted to the lolita lifestyle. I adored seeing posts on the egl livejournal about lolifying your life, and the things you could do to make your home more lolita influenced and whimsical. As well as the beautiful clothes, these were the things that really captured my attention and made me want to be a part of the lolita subculture.

Kamikaze Girls (2004) where Momoko takes the lolita lifestyle to the extreme!

In recent months, I've been seeing a lot of people shooting down the notion that there exists a lolita lifestyle. I have to say, this baffles me somewhat. I don't think any of us really expects someone to change their entire personality and behaviours just because they're wearing a frilly dress, or to pretend they live in 18th century France like Momoko in Kamikaze Girls, but can you really deny that becoming a lolita is in itself a huge lifestyle change? 

Unless you were already into expensive fashions before, or were used to buying designer clothing, it is a transformation of your idea of clothing's worth. Of course, lolita can be bought secondhand and often for affordable prices, but  before I got into lolita, I had never had to be thrifty or buy used clothing. If I needed new clothes I could replace old items in Primark for very little. I'd never had to save up money for a single item of clothing before, and I had never bought an expensive dress, apart from my prom dress when I was sixteen. I assumed that was ok-- you were meant to splash out for special occasion clothing. But not everyday items, surely!

Thus, becoming a lolita completely changed how I lived my life. I became more interested in clothing quality, learning about different types of lace, coordinating outfits, making accessories... None of these things had mattered when I was decked out in jeans and a t-shirt. I began to show clothing a new sort of reverence. It became a hobby.

I definitely felt encouraged by the fashion to explore my creativity. Before, I had been convinced that academia was the only way in which I would ever be able to prove my worth to the rest of the world. But lolita changed my mind. I realised how important fashion and creating things were to me. I gained a new interest and respect for the art and fashion world, and realised that this was a way in which I could make life fulfilling for myself, regardless of what others expected of me. Indie brands are everywhere in lolita. This idea that anyone could start their own brand inspired me in a large way, and I have found that the community in general is full of artistic talent and interested in crafts, moreso than in most other fashion styles I should think. I know I never would have challenged myself to do what I love had I never gotten into lolita.

There's a certain self assuredness that comes from lolita fashion. Whenever you wear it, you know people you encounter on the street will do double takes, comment on what you're wearing, ask questions, laugh, smile, point, stop in their tracks to stare. Once you get over the initial discomfort that comes with this, there then comes a certain confidence, and a thick skin develops. Through lolita I found that I changed my view of how I should react to others' opinions. I value those of the people who care about me for sure, but I found myself realising how insignificant the negative thoughts of a random person I may never see again are. I found myself prioritising my own happiness.

Lolita changes not only your personal lifesyle and thought processes, but also those of how you approach your social life. Most lolitas have lolita friends they spend time with, often through lolita meetups. Before lolita came into my life, it never occurred to me that I could go out and spend time with people due to a shared interest. I became a meetup regular starting in 2013, and now I have a group of best friends I never would have known had it not been for lolita fashion. Lolita has its own social club aspect to it-- you go and meet people regularly, and eventually, friendships form. That's not to say that all lolitas will get along just because they wear the same clothes. But lolita does give you the ability to get in touch with people you might never have had the opportunity to otherwise.

Other fond memories I have of my early days in lolita are the personalities who used to be so important. Everyone knew who Moon Kana was, and everyone owned Kanon Wakeshima's Shinshoku Dolce. Both of these women were considered to be lolita icons; for the former's constant appearance in the Gothic and Lolita Bibles, and both of their contributions to what we all considered to be lolita music. Novala Takemoto was iconic for his writings on what it meant to be a lolita. There was a gentle side to the fashion in which no-one was afraid to identify with poetic, quaint interpretations of the reasons this fashion had spoken to all of us in some way.

A typical Moon Kana photoshoot from a Gothic and Lolita Bible

Certain aspects of lolita fashion today bother me. In some ways, its steadily growing popularity is a good thing. It means the clothing is more accessible, and people are more likely to understand what you're wearing and why. But newcomers are not finding out about the fashion through the egl community on livejournal. Newcomers are missing out on not only an invaluable resource chock full of information collected over the years, but also a kind of lolita culture that is no longer prevalent. It's not a terrible thing, but it still makes me a little sad. 

The online community doesn't feel as tight knit as it once did, and the decrease in livejournal presence is upsetting. I have fond memories of some of the really interesting discussions that took place there. Tumblr is fast and great for exposure as we all know, but it's not a discussion platform. It doesn't allow for any dialogue to be set up between a group of people, and I feel disconnected from the lolita community outside of reblogging coordinate photos (and even then, I believe daily_lolita was much better for receiving feedback on your outfits). I used to participate in the egl tinychat, which was basically an opportunity to talk to any livejournal lolitas who happened to be online at the time the link was posted to the main community. We'd talk about clothes, our lives, musings on the world around us... it was relaxing and it made me feel like I was part of something bigger than just a fashion style. Nowadays, the lolita community at large feels incredibly fragmented, and its migration from livejournal to tumblr and facebook are most likely to blame. 

As you can see, I have a lot of nostalgia for how lolita used to be. People just entering the fashion must be having a completely different experience to those who entered it years ago. I try to move with the times, and yet it is very hard to see the aspects that made lolita lolita for you being wiped away and considered passé.

I myself agree that you cannot be a "lolita at heart" if you don't wear the fashion, and that in principle, playing a classical instrument for example is not a "lolita activity". However, as far as I'm concerned, there is a lolita lifestyle, and it is simply made up of aspects of your life that have been influenced by the very fact you wear lolita fashion, and to shut down anyone who agrees with this is unfair. We are all entitled to our own interpretation. It may not be something you agree with or get. But if you've been wearing lolita for years, are still active on egl, or simply aren't afraid to consider how lolita is so different from other fashions and has its own influences on your daily life, you'll know what I'm talking about. And this is for you.

To end this post, I'll use the words I wrote as a seventeen-year-old about my feelings towards lifestylers:

I firmly believe anything that can have such a huge impact on a person's life is indeed, a contributing factor to their lifestyle. You don't have to sit around drinking tea, playing with dolls or flower-arranging to be a lifestyler. You simply need to have a special place in your heart and in your life for the beauty and magical things that come with being a lolita.

I am a lifestyle lolita. Are you?  ❤